Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Just One of Those Days

Every now and then I will start tweeting about something I see happening and I just begin a stream-of-consciousness style rant about it. Some of them come out as well-formed thoughts, and I've always considered Twitter to be a mini-blog of sorts. This is my first attempt at turning those tweets into a blog post. Here they are, un-edited. Depending on how this goes, and depending on my tweeting, there may be more of these in the future.

Basically as an introduction, this is about the "friend zone", males/females claiming to be platonic friends, and people who have a hard time expressing honestly what they look for in a relationship. Enjoy.

I'm tired of niggas taking this "friends with a female" shit too far. Making me look crazy when I tell a chick "I just wanna fuck"

Sure, after we fuck, some doors may open for you. But I ain't fitna be doing oil changes and shit for nothing.

I refuse to be the shoulder that you cry on unless I'm also the dick that you ride on. It's a two way street.

Anytime a man and a woman are "just friends", one of them is trying to passive-aggressively fuck.

This nigga thinks if he changes enough light bulbs or plays daddy to her kid enough she'll let him stick the tip in. That's not how it works

No one knows how you truly feel about them unless you come out and say that shit. Beating around the bush only works for gardeners.

I have no problem telling a female "Listen, I just wanna fuck." I don't have a problem using that exact language either.

At least that prevents the time wasted where we're both in a scenario where we're lying to ourselves about the situation

To me, time is the most precious thing on Earth. Time is an even more precious resource than pussy. And I don't waste either.

I'd love to hear someone tell me a situation where being the handyman led to them getting some pussy. Anyone.

The only thing being a chick's handyman will get for you is stronger forearm muscles for when you go beat off at night.

I think that's why I get along so well with older women/cougars/MILFs. Honesty goes a long way with someone who knows what they want in life

Bottom line is, if you send all the "friend" signals don't get mad when another nigga is blowing her back out at night. It will happen.

I think I'm done ranting. If you like what I say, cool. If not, cool. Me and my dick will continue to be on the same page.

If you're more worried about what a woman thinks than about your own needs as a man, you don't deserve to have a penis

I think too many people are afraid of the word "fuck". You're not going to be making love with everyone. It's cool.

Every man is not going to be your knight in shining armor, and every woman is not wifey material. But penis + vagina = both of us happy.

Would you rather a guy lie to you and tell you all this bullshit, only to break your heart in the end?

I think I'm too honest for chicks my age. They don't like it when I break it down to them that life isn't a romantic comedy

There's absolutely no way you can misunderstand what I'm saying. But you can hear what you want to hear.

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