Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Listorial Crack

I came across this list and the list was such hot fire that I had to blog about it immediately. As Juelz Santana would say, it grabbed my attention like “HEY”. Or:

This is a list of 10 things you should not be doing on Facebook if you’re over the age of 25. And frankly. I think the list might start as soon as you graduate college. It hits on many points that are just too poignant and I will list out each point and provide my own commentary afterwards.

1) Choosing “it’s complicated” as your relationship status
Uhm…after age 25, you’re a grown man, or a grown woman. You have no business selecting “it’s complicated” as your Facebook status unless you’re 12, and haven’t learned what you want and don’t want in life. You either are, or are not, in a relationship. Moving right along.

-Another thing. If you’re pregnant, your relationship status should not be “it’s complicated”. If it’s that complicated, maybe you should just keep that to yourself. Matter of fact, maybe you should delete your account until you get your baby daddy situations straightened out-

2) Posing with money
If you have to pose with money in your Facebook pictures or profile pictures, chances are you have a complex because you don’t have a job, are not rich, and likely never will be after any potential employer sees you acting the fool with dirty dollars on the Internets. SMDH.

-Chances are the money that you are posing with is your rent money. Unless you live at home with your parents of course. Yeah.-

3) Changing your FB middle name to ‘I don’t give-a’ or ‘MahoganyBoobs’ or ‘Eff-U-Haterz’
Not sure whom you’re angry at, or why, but no need to be overly blasphemous about your government name. If your name is Sheila Bequila Johnson, that is fine. Go by that. But no one needs to know too much more if you’re over 25. Nobody needs to know via your full name how much mahogany you have in your boobs, how good you are in bed, or why you have soOOoOo many haters. * side eye *

-I think I wanna change my FBook middle name to Daddy Fat Sacks. Don’t judge me.-

4) Having Internet beef
Please do not go on anybody’s Facebook wall and act like a jackass if you are grown. Do not write cuss words, or easy-to-guess comments like “I hate Phonda Hose” (when we all know you are talking about “Shonda Rose”) on any part of Facebook. Doing so is childish, and if you are over the age of 25, you are not what? A child.

-Internet beef/thuggin also occurs via Twitter. And again, it’s very childish-

5) Boasting about how much you drank last night
Those were college days when you slept with your roommate for fun and flashed your university professor. I repeat: college days. Whether or not you in fact went to college, you know better than to be writing about how you gulped down keg after keg of alcohol with your boo or your crew–on Facebook. Please know better if you don’t know better.

-I wish people would stop posting pictures of last night’s drunken debauchery. No cameras, or if they are, they definitely don’t go on FBook. And if you tag me, and I untag it, don’t tag me back again. Respect my authority.-

6) Spelling words in a way that suggests you hate dictionaries
No, like seriously – what is wrong with writing “like” instead of “lyk?” Must you abbreviate every single word you have you in your diction after the age of 25? Get over it: you are grown. Take your sweet time and spell things the way an educated person with sense would spell them. Using those abbreviations are fine here and there, but dont<– leave out apostrophes or write donkey butt just because you’re trying to be “cool.” You never know who may be looking to hire — and it ain’t gonna be someone who can’t spell for nothing.

-This has to stop immediately-

7) Announcing every inch of your relationship
Not sure what the remedy would be for someone who just loooves to go on and on about his or her relationship on Facebook – except maybe somebody throwing a bucket of ice on your head if you are that person. Do we care that you and your loved one just farted at the same time in public? We sure do not. Keep your mouth shut and your butt even shutter. You are grown.

-Also, if you split with your partner, don’t jump on FBook every other day announcing that you’re in a relationship, then out of one, then vice versa. No one cares that much-

8. Carrying on a pretend life
If you’ve never been in V.I.P or popped a bottle of Moet in your life, please stop the madness? Stop creating the illusion within social spaces that you are a celebrity and you have paparazzi following you everywhere taking pictures–cos we know that’s just your cousin Jojo. And we know you live in a studio on Crenshaw. With roaches. Do better. Grow up. Be more financially responsible. And humble. Next.

-I’m guessing the pretend life also applies to people that post those photos-

9) Hating on the opposite sex ALL the daggone time!
Geez louise, we all know that the opposite sex isn’t all a bed of roses, but if you’re over 25 and you’re still pounding on them every second–especially in your FB status–maybe the problem is YOU. Just saying. Put the weapons down…and let God.

-I do my fair share of hating on the opposite sex. But I’m not 25. Sue me.-

10) Tagging other people in embarrassing photos and unnecessary little quizzes, tests, games, and crappity craps…
It’s bad enough that YOU have saved a whole bunch of hot-mess photos and are willing to compromise YOURself, but please…let the other folk who want to grow up and be somebody not fall victim to your “nostalgia.” Mmmkay? We may have acted the fool together once upon a time, but I don’t need you tagging my 1998 picture and blowing up my spot. I have moved forward. You should too.

-This is grounds for me to revoke our internet friendship. It’s that serious.-

Year-End Rap Up

Most blogs compose these yearend wrap up lists towards the end of the year. These are best movies, best albums, etc. I figured I would do a top 10 mixtape listing, since that’s all anyone listens to these days. Most these mixtapes could double as full length LP’s, and quite a few of these are available on iTunes or Amazon in actual disc format. This isn’t a list of what are the top 10 influential, or had the biggest impact, or had the biggest radio hits. These are the ten that I feel about the best listens from beginning to end. I won't be provided links in this article. This is 2010. If you want to find the mixtapes, you can find them. Since this is my opinion, you all probably won’t agree with my picks. But that’s neither here nor there. Shall we?

10. Thee Tom Hardy - Secret of Thee Green Magic
The reason this is listed at number 10 is because it only came out a few weeks ago. Truth is, I have been listening to this mixtape in constant rotation since it came out. It’s just that good. Dope beats, dope rhymes. Makes me feel like I’m listening to Mobb Deep’s “The Infamous” or something. Occasional there will be a deep line but the majority of it is just me nodding my head into hypnosis watching great track blend into the next great track. So good I don’t even mind the DJ tags all over it. Thee Tom hardy should be around for awhile hopefully because “true talent is a present that cannot be bought”

9. J. Cole – Friday Night Lights
This is listed at number 9 similar to the Thee Tom Hardy mixtape because it hasn’t been out that long, but boy, if this would’ve dropped around June I think it would be top 5. I haven’t listened to it enough to decipher each and every line that J. Cole drops in this thing. He is a special rapper in that he touches on subjects most rappers shy away from but does it almost effortlessly. And the Badu sample to start the mixtape off just puts everything off on the right foot.

8. Yelawolf – Trunk Muzik
This mixtape dropped in January and I still find myself playing it with regularity. He just dropped a retail album which is mostly songs from this mixtape, but this mixtape is where these songs have a great flow to them. From the beginning of the mixtape to the Juelz collaboration at the end, you get a view into an Alabama native that’s been through some shit in his life. But he makes it sound like you grew up right next door to him witnessing him pop the trunk. Takes true talent.

7. Playboy Tre – The Last Call
I hadn’t heard of Playboy Tre until I saw his hilarious YouTube videos. Dude is a straight fool. Also turns out dude is an above average rapper who has more focused output than his label mate and associate B.o.B. Playboy Tre has moments of clarity on this album that I haven’t heard since a Ghostface Killah record. He’s dropping old head “this is the game youngblood” knowledge all throughout this project and its’ hard to not listen all the way through once you’ve started.

6. Joe Budden – Mood Muzik 4
This project follows suit to where the Mood Muzik projects have come up to this point. It’s what you would expect. Few hooks, unrepentant introspective lyricism about a bevy of topics that are usually on the depressing sides. If you’re having a bad day, listening to this project will only make it worse. But that’s part of what makes it great. It has the ability to reach out and touch your emotions to the point where you empathize with Joey’s trials and tribulations so that if you have occurred any of the same ones, you can instantly relate. Even if you haven’t, the emotion makes you wish you had, and overcome it.

5. Dom Kennedy – From The Westside With Love
This is the quintessential soundtrack for just riding, vibing to good music, possibly hanging out with a few choice females. The music is so breezy that you almost forget that Dom Kennedy is rapping his ass off. He’s able to bounce back and forth from catchy punch lines to cheesy pickup lines to dope observations on life. All without missing a beat. This project also includes a dope ass introspective track at the end as well as the anthem of the jump-off express. What’s not to like about that?

4. Pac Div – Don’t Mention It
These 3 cats from Cali don’t pull any lyrical punches on this mixtape. They destroy every track about whatever topic it is. They use the same fervor to talk about picking up “birds” as they do to talk about problems in the black community or problems with infidelity. All cohesive projects have to cover a variety of topics, and this project doesn’t disappoint at all.

3. Wale – More About Nothing
One of the most complete, diverse projects on this list. Touches on a variety of subjects and doesn’t miss a beat at all. I can’t think of a single subpar verse on this project. Even the guest features come correct on this list. The only problem is that songs start to run together but that’s just me trying to nitpick. This is a great project.

2. Freddie Gibbs – Str8 Killa No Filla
He’s not joking when he says there’s no filler. The only filler is the end track where he redoes “Rock Steady” for fun. Freddie is able to internalize the dope boy/stick up kid attitude to the point where he just accepts it as reality and doesn’t try to glorify it. Therefore you get plenty of self-reflections on the project you can see how he has the angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. He’s able to take every song over the top with his tenacity and make for one enjoyable listen.

1. Big KRIT – KRIT Wuz Here
I had to make this #1 just for the songs “Children of the World” and “2000 & Beyond”. Those audio gems will be remembered for a long time to come, but that doesn’t take away from the greatness that is this entire project. It also adds to the allure when you realize that not only does KRIT all of the memorable verses but he also produced the project in its entirety. That kind of talent only will add to draw comparisons to the late great Pimp C. But if someone has to carry the torch for Chad Butler, there’s no one better than KRIT.

Honorable Mention:
Wiz Khalifa “Kush & Orange Juice”
Childish Gambino “Culdesac”
Asher Roth “Seared Foi Gras With Quince & Cranberry”
Mac Miller “K.I.D.S.”
Starlito “Terminader Gold 60”

One Day

I’ve been trying to blog for awhile. I’ve had lots of inspiration but whenever I try to put the figurative pen to paper I always draw blanks. Out here failing worse than Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon trying to have a baby. Too soon?

Anyways, I had quite a bevy of material I could possibly write about. I thought long and hard about writing an article about the ills that Facebook causes relationships. A friend of mine just recently got a Facebook account after a Kanye West-style imposed exile and within a matter of hours it had already caused drama with his significant other. She at first was cool with it, then demanded passwords and the whole nine. It just echoed my sentiments about how people in committed relationships either should have a joint Facebook account or no account at all, but I could never put on my sarcasm hat and give it the witty responses that it needed. I still would like to know why people blame Facebook for all of their relationship ills. Facebook only enhances and shines a light on what was already there. I’m sorry if the guy you have two kids with and never even once brought up marriage is out there sending other chicks messages asking for phone numbers. Where there’s smoke, there’s fire but that’s neither here nor there.

Then I had inspiration to write another piece. A more somber piece about a female college student who committed suicide roughly a week after reporting that one of the school’s varsity football players had sexually assaulted her. I wanted to be respectful of it and not touch on that touchy subject so close to it occurring, until I realized that this news story was actually about an incident that occurred almost 4 months ago that is just now being reported. Then that was like a Pandora’s Box of sorts. It made me wonder why they would go through such lengths to keep it a secret if there was truly no wrongdoing going on. Why would they conceal the identities of the accused, and handle it as an in-house manner? That wouldn’t happen for any other student, why are varsity athletes any different? Then I saw that the incident occurred at Notre Dame, and suddenly I had answers to all my questions. I’ve long since removed myself from that environment and that frame of thinking, but it’s startling to see that some things never change. Take that how you want.

Neither piece had inspired me to write anything, but I did get some inspiration recently. Inspiration from the upcoming holiday season. I don’t know what kind of situations you, the readers, have going on in your lives, but just know that every day above ground is a great one. And you should be thankful for the many blessings you have, whether you are aware of them or not. If you don’t remember the last time you told your family that you loved them, do so immediately after finishing this blog post. It’s that serious.

One day you’re here, and the next day you’re gone.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

hell yeah

Sitting in the living room on the floor hunger pain got me on some migraine shit but I'ma maintain
Nigga got two or three dollars to my name and my homies in the same boat going through the same thing
Ready for a caper, steady plotting for the paper
We been livin' in the dark since April
On the candle, gotta get a handle
My homie got a 25 automatic added to the gamble
Nigga get the phone book, look up in the yellow page, lemme tell you how we fitna get paid
We gon' order pizza and when we see the driver, we gon' stick the 25 up in his face
Let's ride, steppin' outside like warriors into the notorious southside
One weapon to the four of us, hiding in the corridor til' we see the Domino's car headlights
White boy in the wrong place at the right time
Soon as the car door open up he mine
We roll up quick and put the pistol to his nose
By the look on his face he probly shitted in his clothes
You know what this? It's a stick up, gimme the dough from the pick up, you ran into the wrong niggas
We running down the block hot with these pizza boxes
So we split up and met back at the apartment

I know a way we can get paid
You can get down but you can't be afraid
Let's go to the DMV and get a ID
The name says you but the face is me
Now it's your turn take my paperwork
Like 1,2,3 let's make it work
Then fill out out the credit card application
Then it's gonna be about three weeks of waiting
For American Express, Discovery Card, Platinum Visa Mastercard
'Cause when we was boosting shit then we was targets
Now we just walk right up and say charge it
To the game we rockin' brand names
Well known at department store chains
Even got the boys in the crew a few thangs
Po Po never know who to true blame
Store after store you know we kept rolling
Wait two weeks, report the card stolen
Repeat the cycle like a laundromat
Like a glitch in the system that's hard to catch
Coming out the mall, with the shopping bags
We can take 'em right back and get the cash, yeah
Get a friend and do it again
Damn right, that's how we pay the rent

I know a caper, we can get some government paper
You know food stamps, can we really do that?
Hell yeah, right there for the taking
Fuck welfare, we say reparations
You know the grind, get up early get on the line and just wait, everybody on break
That's part of the game and when they call your name
Miss caseworker lemme state my claim
I'm homeless, jobless, time is hard
About hopeless, but I gotta eat regardless
No family to run to, I'm 22
Now tell me what the fuck am I supposed to do?
My sad story made her feel close to me
I made her feel like it was in emergency
And when I came to the crib niggas couldn't believe
I came back with a big bag of groceries

Every job I ever had I had to get on. The first day I find out how to pimp the system
Two steps ahead of the manager, getting over on the regular
Tax-free money out the register
And when I'm working late night stocking boxes, I'm creepin' their merchandise
And don't put me on dishes I'm dropping them bitches
And takin' all day long to mop the kitchen
Shit, we ain't getting paid commission
Minimum wage, modern day slave conditions
Got me flipping burgers with no power
Can't even buy one off what I make in an hour
I'm not one to kiss ass for the top position
I take mine off the top like a politician
where I'm from doin' dirt is a part of living
I got mouths to feed dog I gots to get it