Thursday, June 19, 2014

Pastor Disaster

I went to Game 6 of the Hawks/Pacers first round playoff series at Phillips Arena. It was a heartbreaking loss for us Hawks fans, as we were so close to pulling off a monumental upset of the then-in-pure-freefall-mode #1 seeded Pacers. As my friend and I were walking dejectedly back to the CNN Center Marta station, we see someone on the side of the sidewalk handing out CD's. I get one without looking at guy handing it to me and I look at the name on it and it says it's made by none other than Atlanta rap legend Pastor Troy. I go back in shock, wondering why someone would be handing out Pastor Troy CD's in 2014 outside Phillips Arena and I was shocked to find none other than the Pastor himself, even wearing his championship belt in all of it's glory. Of course I immediately went into fan mode and got my picture taken. Sadly I did not get the belt in the picture, but it was the least I could do and it made me forget all about the Game 6 loss.

About a day or so ago I saw this picture pop up on my news feed. It was none other than Pastor Troy, showing up at the Atlanta Falcons mini-camp seemingly just to hang out. My friend sent me the picture and this conversation ensued over text message. It was too amazing, and I felt it needed to be captured somewhere for posterity purposes.

Tyler: Do you think Pastor Troy coordinated that visit or just showed up and said "I'm Pastor Troy, look at my belt?"
Me: Pastor Troy took the picture not with the coaches or the players but just in a random end zone. He probably just showed up and Instagrammed it and the Falcons used the picture. No one coordinates visits with Pastor Troy in 2014. He's famous enough to where we know who he is but unfamous enough to be on Judge Alex
Ahahahaha. He literally doesn't leave home without that belt. "Wallet? Check. Cell phone? Yep. Belt? Oh shit, let me get that."
Wonder if he's ever got drunk or high and left it somewhere. Can you imagine going to a bar the next day like "Hey I left my wrestling belt here last night"
Hahahaha. Or had a one night stand and forgot it and had to go back and the girl's on-again/off-again boyfriend was there and it was highly awkward for all of them. "Just getting my belt cuz, chill."
How many you think he owns? Think he has more than one and rotates them like work pants?
He's got a closet for just the belts. His house is a total shit hole but the belt room has fine Berber carpet and velvet-lined shelves and it's own security system.
He has a gun safe for his belts. He probably got Downs to do it
Hahaha. How many belts can this hold? No, not pants belts, like the one I'm wearing now. Does he have to check it with security at airports? This topic needs to be discussed at your next stand-up
I wonder how much he spends on Brasso every year. He definitely has to check it in his luggage. I'm glad he hasn't upgraded to the new WWE belt. He's sticking with the tried and true WCW Booker T Harlem Heat belt
"I'm sorry sir but the metal detectors picked up something." And he's all "Yeah it's my gold belt, solid gold" and the security guard goes "Sir our equipment only detects steel and brass, not finer metals"
Hahahah. Why has no one challenged him to a rap battle and winner gets the belt?
Hahaha. He's like Floyd Mayweather. He picks his opponents and the rules. "No using any words with vowels or you're disqualified"
What is he champion of? What federation recognizes him as it's champion?
Hahahaha. Is that a sanctioned belt, Pastor Troy?
I've never talked this much about a wrestling belt, ever

I still got love for you though Pastor Troy.

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