Wednesday, July 9, 2014
Your Personal Portfolio
Like 99% of adults in the world I have a Facebook account. I use mine to post pictures occasionally, or witty status updates, and the rest is used for remembering birthdays. I log onto Facebook everyday and check the birthdays and if it's your birthday and I don’t want to wish you a happy birthday I unfriend you. I figure if I don't want to at least send you 2 words every 12 months we’re not really friends. I logged on one day to go through my daily purge attempt and I read a Facebook status from someone I had gone to school with that was basically a list of demands that this woman wanted out of any potential suitors. She had a laundry list of things that she wanted from her next boyfriend and I didn't even bother reading it. I just removed her from my friend list because I felt like she was going down the wrong path. Instead of having demands she should have been highlighting her characteristics that would make a man want to date her. And that is where I think a lot of the problem lies nowadays.
To me getting into a relationship is 50% dateable characteristics and 50% marketing. If you’re single you have to ask yourself "What are my dateable characteristics?" This means what do I have to offer to a potential mate that would entice this person to want to stay with me. This could include anything from being ambitious, good looks (albeit temporarily), wealth, fame, personality, sense of humor, etc. There are a ton of different characteristics which could be used to distinguish yourself from any number of other potential suitors, and that’s where marketing comes in. You have to be able to take all of your dateable characteristics and present them in an attractive package to let people of the opposite sex know that you’re available. No, this doesn't mean being revealing or overtly sexual. Sexuality shouldn't even be anywhere on the list of dateable characteristics, because you’re not a prostitute. You’re a complex human being who should have some other traits or skills or traits that would entice someone to be with you.
When I refer to marketing I’m talking about creating what they refer to as an elevator pitch. I was watching some cheesy TV show the other day that had 2 women basically speed dating 20-30 men and each man had 10 seconds to give a line or two about why they should advance to the next round. In essence, that’s what dating is. First impressions go a long way in life and dating is no different. You should be able to summarize the high points of your dateable characteristics in a form of elevator pitch, in order to get more time to win over the person that you’re communicating with. Time is the most precious resource on earth, and there’s nothing I hate more than feeling like my time has been wasted. The question is why do you deserve my time? And the answer to that lies in your dateable characteristics.
The part a lot of people neglect when creating their personal marketing is that the best marketing campaigns are rooted in truth. It’s great if you can create that attractive package that will have people interested in your product but is your package 100% truthful and honest and objective? If not, you will have a hard time keeping people interested in your product. In the business world this is referred to as a bait-and-switch, in which it leaves the customer feeling cheated. In this instance you would be cheating yourself, out of potentially finding that mate. There’s nothing wrong with being objective with yourself and pointing out your flaws only if you’re trying to improve them. Ask yourself "Am I where I want to be job wise? Income wise? Status wise?" Instead of feeling down on yourself identify some ways you can improve on yourself, and slowly but surely work to improve those dateable characteristics. This will help two-fold. It will take your mind off of being single and at the same time improve your marketing package for the next time you need to make that elevator pitch to someone.
Dating is just like every other transaction we know of today. It involves an exchange of resources by two parties. The dating transaction revolves around meeting someone and exchanging time with them, and if it goes well you two will at some point merge companies and share all of your time together. You have to present yourself as worthy of the merger, and that’s where marketing and dateable characteristics come into play.