Handicap Match

How do you tell a girl that her friends suck? You don't.

No seriously, there is no way that telling your girl that you don't approve of her friends will ever end well for you. It may sound like a good idea at the time to tell her that her friends suck, but you can't ever utter that phrase. You can't even utter anything remotely close to that phrase. And here's why:

I know it may be hard for some of you to realize this, but your significant other's friends have way more influence in your relationship than they should. I'd even go as far as to say that your girlfriend's/wife's friends matter more to your relationship than you do. What I mean by that is that you must keep your girlfriend's friends happy at all times, and they have to be happy that she is with you at all times, or all hell will break loose figuratively and literally. Her friends will go from supporting you to undercutting you at every possible opportunity, to the breaking point where she usually has to make a decision between you and her friends. You never want to end up in this scenario, so again you can't ever say that her friends suck.

The most common way that your significant other's friends will try to intervene in your relationship is that they try to apply things from their dating and personal life into the way that you interact with their friend. That failed dinner date that your girl's friend just had will somehow become a topic of your relationship, and you will have to address whether you would have acted the same way or a different way. Regardless of what your answer is, you will be judged ruthlessly. This scenario is exponentially increased if this discussion occurs in the presence of both your girl and her friend, as they will try to dispute any instances of logic you may use to rationalize your argument. Reacting logically to a situation with a woman is like voluntarily drinking Clorox bleach. It never ends well.

I had a situation in my previous relationship where while hanging out with my girlfriend and other friends, one of her friends interjected that I couldn't have any single female friends because it's impossible for men and women to be platonic friends. Her reasoning for this was that every man who's ever claimed to be her friend has wanted to sleep with her, so therefore I must behave like every man she's come in contact with. The problem wasn't the interjection, or my defense of the contrary that men and women can be friends on a platonic level. No, the bigger issue was that someone with this level of close-minded world views was someone that my ex-girlfriend trusted for advice, and that this was negatively affecting her ability to think for herself in muddied situations such as these. Men and women can be platonic friends. It's very naive to think anything other than that, just like it's possible to be amicable to coworkers without being friends with them or trying to sleep with them. I don't have to have ulterior motives just to be nice to someone.

I won't even get into the resolution of this situation because like I said previously it involves my ex-girlfriend. I just want to state that sometimes it's best to see these scenarios occurring like a quarterback reading a defense and react accordingly. And be on the lookout for your significant other's friends rushing you from the blindside while you focus on reading the secondary.

My Free Will

I just discovered that I’ve been in love with Sam Smith songs for the past year, but I just didn’t know who Sam Smith was. Well, with the release of his debut album “In The Lonely Hour” I felt that I knew more about Smith, almost on a personal level as well. In this interview with Fader he spoke about the album coming from a very dark place where he was going through unrequited love with a man. Yes that’s correct: a man. Whereas Frank Ocean was very cryptic about maybe kinda sorta loving a man once during the buildup to the release of his “Channel Orange” album Smith almost takes pride in being open about his views on sexuality, and he’s correct in that this wouldn’t matter nearly as much if he was heterosexual.

Smith’s interviews and listening to the album, which I love by the way, made me come face to face with two things that I felt I needed to speak on. The first is that Smith’s album is the first time I’ve encountered an openly gay man struggling to find a partner. I have gay friends, and it seems they have a seemingly endless supply of new men whenever they want a relationship or just some physical sexual gratification. There are gay clubs, gay dating apps, gay associations, all seemingly with the purpose of pairing men looking for interactions with other men of a romantic nature. As a heterosexual male, the ease with which they are able to make these connections was always something I admired, and was envious of. If only going to a bar to find a woman was that simple for heterosexual men, I think the world would be an entirely different place. Smith seems to share what I’ve experienced personally, in terms of the dichotomy of having someone you want that you can’t have while having someone available that you don’t want, for various reasons.

Which brings me to the second item I needed to speak on: unrequited love fucking sucks. Point blank period. One of the lowest points in my life was when my ex-girlfriend told me “I will always love you but we’re too incompatible for us to continue in this relationship.” There’s a certain vulnerability that comes along with being in love, and opening yourself up to someone, and to have that be rejected by another human being is devastating. This has happened to me recently enough where I’m torn between missing my ex, missing human interaction, and simultaneously trying to recreate Ty$ songs. I feel as though my heart is in a pretzel with my mind in a sling. There are obvious voids in my life that will only fill with time and the appropriate changes in my routine. Whether these routine changes involve personal hobbies or meeting someone new, adaptation is a key part of any life and mine is no different. There’s no clear-cut solution to that feeling, and that’s what makes love so special. When you finally do meet that person that you want to spend the rest of forever with, you’ll know it.

And I’ve told you now.

Super Bass

This video rubs me the wrong way and for some reason I can't put my finger on it.

If I was a father and I had a daughter and she was elementary school age I wouldn't let her listen to Nicki Minaj man. Why these girls even know that song well enough to put that routine together? It's not cute when your 7-year-old is singing Nicki Minaj songs. Just like its not cute when little kids use profanity. Kids are the future man. And it's not going to help the future if kids are aspiring to be Nicki Minaj.

Do kids know what Minaj in her name is referring to? They can't possibly. Or do they? Does that little girl singing on the Ellen show know that she wants to be Nicki Threesome when she grows up?

Sure, "Super Bass" is a radio friendly, poppy enough song. But Nicki Minaj got a catalog of shit kids shouldn't be listening to. I wonder if that girl's parents let her listen to the Nicki Minaj verse on Big Sean's "Ass" remix. I bet the parents were looking at their little girl singing a Nicki Minaj song like "She's so talented. She's gonna be famous one day." That's how kids get exploited. Parents having them doing shit they have no business doing because they look "cute".

Seriously, the kids these days are fucked. They don't stand a chance man.

Kids in elementary school having sex, singing explicit rap songs, creating Facebook accounts, having cell phones. Why can't kids just be kids? Innocent, naive, little kids. They shouldn't even be allowed to do those other things.

It might be the 21st century, but the qualities of a good parent haven't changed. People gotta start raising their kids right. I don't have any kids that I know about and I'm in no rush to have any kids. But I wanna make sure they get raised right man. My kids should be worried about playing around outside, getting dirty, and cooties. Not worrying about their Facebook profile picture. If you got a kid in the third grade taking bathroom mirror pictures to update their Facebook profile picture, you fail at being a parent. Facebook is a safe-haven for debauchery for adults. I couldn't even imagine being a child with that at my finger tips.

This whole thing got me feeling deterred man. Kids ain't kids no more. They just young lost souls with no guidance. Nobody guiding these kids. And if they are guiding the kids, they guiding them down the wrong paths.

When I was growing up, I had my dad and my older brother around to let me know if i was fucking up. They didn't try to be my best friend. They were my role models. There's a HUGE fucking difference. You don't gotta act like your child's best friend to teach them the difference between right and wrong. Matter fact, there should be some shit that you don't disclose with your parents. That's what makes the parental bond sacred. There's supposed to be some shit that I can't discuss with my parents until I hit a certain age, or if I do discuss it, its with kid gloves. You shouldn't be talking to your mom about this chick that sucked you off behind the bleachers, or the handjob you got. You shouldn't be talking to your dad about girls giving you hickeys & if you do, your dad should be like "Leave them fast ass girls alone".

I just realized there are no more "fast ass girls" anymore these days. All the kids are sex-deprived superfreaks with camera phones. Nowadays it's not "Do you like me? Yes or No". It's "What's your number? I'ma text you a nekked picture". Kids at 10-11 years old taking pictures in their underwear and sending them to their friends. Like I said man, no guidance.

Kids listening to Nicki Minaj on the radio, watch Basketball Wives on TV WHERE NONE OF THEM ARE EVEN MARRIED. Kids can Google sextapes, porn, play Mature video games. They have Twitter accounts. They can watch "16 & Pregnant" on TV. At some point yall gotta stop expecting school teachers and TV and your favorite rapper to be parenting these kids. It's not a school teachers job to parent a kid. Not everyone needs to be a parent either.

Nicki Minaj is a grown ass woman, with bills to pay, who does what she needs to do to provide for herself and her family. Not Nicki Minaj, or no other person in the entire music industry or sports world, has the responsibility of raising your kids. If your kid does something stupid, you can't blame Lil Wayne. You need to blame your dumbass self for being a poor parent.

Just because you're old enough to get an erection or old enough to have your period doesn't mean you should be a parent. I respect people that get abortions, or put kids up for adoption. If you ain't ready to be a parent, it's simple. DONT BE A PARENT. There are MILLIONS of people who wish they could have kids but can't. And if you can't raise them the right way, give them away.

Know how many gay and lesbian couples are living financially comfortable but physical can't have kids? Let them adopt from unfit parents. Who gives a shit if you have two moms or two dads. If you would have a better chance at being raised right, they need to go with that setup. I'm just fucking tired of seeing kids do dumb shit because parents aren't being parents. This ain't about your work schedule either. If you working 2-3 jobs you can still be a parent. Or foster some type of environment to where your children are being guided properly. Some kids can be raised properly with one parent. Some need more role models. Whatever you gotta do, do it man.

Shit like this just makes me realize that so much of what we entertain and put effort in is meaningless. If it ain't improving my life, or the life of the next generation, then why even do it?