The 8th Seed

I said that if I ever had a classic rant I would blog it again. Well I had one. It's about ending up in the friend zone and about people who claim that their ex is their best friend. Without further ado:




I don't trust chicks who claim their ex is their best friend. Something about that just doesn't sit well with me

If the chick claims her ex is her best friend, I automatically imply 2 things: 1) She doesn't have any female friends, & 2) Her ex has residual income pussy on deck

There's no reason your ex should be picking you up from the airport

Fellas: If you offer to pick a chick up from the airport and she declines or says "I already have a ride", she doesn't want your dick

@AlluringShrew raised a point that it could be the case for anyone. That it doesn't mean something is awry when exes are friends

If that person is your ex that means you were in a relationship with them at some point. And if you were, you thought you had a future

Very few relationships have two people that don't think there is a future between them. Only sex. It happens, but its rare.

If you view this person as your best friend, you probably still wish that future was there. And secretly, probably wish yall were together

If a female has decided she wants to be with you, her vagina will always get wet for you. Always. Can't argue with nature.

Why do you think females stick around in abusive relationships? Just like dude's dick clouds their thoughts, women's vagina does the same

If she views her ex as her best friend, it's like telling that dude "My vagina will always be here, ready when you are"

He may not act upon it immediately, but trust the he knows the option exists in the back of his head

That's how you get in situations where she tries explaining it to you like "Yeah he spent the night, but we're like good friends now"

That nigga just put it through her back and she came back to you because he doesn't want a relationship. The minute he does, yall are a wrap

You can date a chick who claims her ex is her best friend only if you're comfortable with sharing the pussy. If not, go elsewhere.

Some dudes are comfortable with sharing the pussy. I'm not one of them.

RT @ShowinOut Most females stick around because theyre scared, have low self esteem, theyre comfortable, or have kids. Not just for sex

I'll take it one step further. Men can't be best friends with a female, unless he has zero intentions of fucking her

If either of you have contemplated what sex would be like between you, yall aren't best friends. Just lovers on hold.

You're on some permanent friend zone shit but you stick around hoping things will change.

The only way the situation will change in the dude's favor is if the female comes in contact with her own mortality.

If the female endures a horrible relationship, or has a kid, or some other live changing event, then she might say "He's been good to me"

After someone else wiped his ass with her heart, then she might give you a whiff of the pussy. Might.

Even if you get that whiff, you still will have that Friend Zone Scarlet Letter on you. Let a free agent land in the area, back to the bench

The Friend Zone is like spending your prime years as an athlete on a team that always loses in the first round of the playoffs

You're better off than other dude's who don't even know her, but then again, you're not getting a ring anytime soon

Would you rather spend your prime years putting up numbers on a horrible team or being a 8th seed & get swept every year?

That's a question you have to ask yourself. Do I want to stick around on this squad, or do I want to try my luck elsewhere?

Kevin Garnett on the Minnesota Timberwolves was the epitome of the Friend Zone athlete

He was a guaranteed Hall of Famer but was stuck in no-mans land. He needed a change of scenery before he finally got over the hump

That's what some of yall niggas need that's in the friend zone now. A change of scenery.

Sure, I bet it feels good to win 41 games a year, but why not try your luck somewhere else and try to win 50 games? or 60?

And I'm done ranting. The friend zone is no joke. But its something every man experiences in life. Just gotta stay strong.

Getting in the friend zone can be demoralizing. Especially if you're in the friend zone with a known ho. But that’s neither here nor there.

? RT @AlluringShrew girls get stuck in the "friend zone" sometimes too. And it sucks equally bad for us when that happens, trust me.

@AlluringShrew The only time a female is in the friend zone is if she's not attractive whatsoever

@AlluringShrew There are no other circumstances. If he has a chick in the friend zone he doesn't find her attractive

@AlluringShrew Men don't turn down pussy. If he turned down the pussy there has to be a reason

@NahImSerious Exactly. We can be friends if I never wanna see what that mouf do

I apologize for all the people in the friend zone that I'm crushing your dreams.
I'll stop with my rant now.

Just One of Those Days

Every now and then I will start tweeting about something I see happening and I just begin a stream-of-consciousness style rant about it. Some of them come out as well-formed thoughts, and I've always considered Twitter to be a mini-blog of sorts. This is my first attempt at turning those tweets into a blog post. Here they are, un-edited. Depending on how this goes, and depending on my tweeting, there may be more of these in the future.

Basically as an introduction, this is about the "friend zone", males/females claiming to be platonic friends, and people who have a hard time expressing honestly what they look for in a relationship. Enjoy.



I'm tired of niggas taking this "friends with a female" shit too far. Making me look crazy when I tell a chick "I just wanna fuck"

Sure, after we fuck, some doors may open for you. But I ain't fitna be doing oil changes and shit for nothing.

I refuse to be the shoulder that you cry on unless I'm also the dick that you ride on. It's a two way street.

Anytime a man and a woman are "just friends", one of them is trying to passive-aggressively fuck.

This nigga thinks if he changes enough light bulbs or plays daddy to her kid enough she'll let him stick the tip in. That's not how it works

No one knows how you truly feel about them unless you come out and say that shit. Beating around the bush only works for gardeners.

I have no problem telling a female "Listen, I just wanna fuck." I don't have a problem using that exact language either.

At least that prevents the time wasted where we're both in a scenario where we're lying to ourselves about the situation

To me, time is the most precious thing on Earth. Time is an even more precious resource than pussy. And I don't waste either.

I'd love to hear someone tell me a situation where being the handyman led to them getting some pussy. Anyone.

The only thing being a chick's handyman will get for you is stronger forearm muscles for when you go beat off at night.

I think that's why I get along so well with older women/cougars/MILFs. Honesty goes a long way with someone who knows what they want in life

Bottom line is, if you send all the "friend" signals don't get mad when another nigga is blowing her back out at night. It will happen.

I think I'm done ranting. If you like what I say, cool. If not, cool. Me and my dick will continue to be on the same page.

If you're more worried about what a woman thinks than about your own needs as a man, you don't deserve to have a penis

I think too many people are afraid of the word "fuck". You're not going to be making love with everyone. It's cool.

Every man is not going to be your knight in shining armor, and every woman is not wifey material. But penis + vagina = both of us happy.

Would you rather a guy lie to you and tell you all this bullshit, only to break your heart in the end?

I think I'm too honest for chicks my age. They don't like it when I break it down to them that life isn't a romantic comedy

There's absolutely no way you can misunderstand what I'm saying. But you can hear what you want to hear.